Dear reader,
Is it just me or is the global community developing a more and more negative outlook in recent years? I hate to complain but every week, there’s something or the other that people are fighting or ranting about.
If you’re a person who likes to actively stay up-to-date with news, you’ll be able to relate to it even more.
The problem with negativity
My problem with negativity comes primarily from personal experience. I wasn’t always as happy as I am right now. For a long time, I was a very negative person. Even until a few months back, I used to be one of the most negative people I’ve known.
I used to have a problem with everything. I was extremely judgmental, short of temper, and generally quick to dismiss other people and their ideas.
After I completed high school, I realized how miserable I really was: instead of being able to enjoy my days, my relationships, and work, I was overly focused on how unfair things were, how everyone was causing problems for me, how I deserved more, and how I was vastly superior than everyone else.
I distinctly remember sitting in a park one day and thinking about myself, about where I wanted to be in 5 years. The first and only thing that came to my mind immediately was that I wanted to be a better person: I wanted to become smarter, more successful, and happy.
Up until that point, I had not realized how unhappy I was with my current self, and how I needed to make some serious personal changes if I ever wanted to be truly happy. Being discontent with yourself is a terrible feeling. You feel angry, frustrated, and cheated. Am I doing something wrong? Why am I feeling this way? Without realizing it, I had been turning my internal frustration and anger outward, with horrible consequences.
It was then that I started getting into real personal development.
The happy enthusiast
In the beginning, it was really difficult to make any changes. I’d try to make changes to my behavior and mentality only to fail and get back to my old negative self.
After some proper thinking and Google research, I realized that the first thing I should focus on was changing my environment. That included both my personal living space and the people I surrounded myself with.
I couldn’t just move to a new place, so I decided to change my room without changing my room. I stopped watching movies, series, and even YouTube all around my room. I created a dedicated spot for eating while watching YouTube or movies which was intentionally slightly uncomfortable, and a dedicated spot for studying and working where I put sticky notes to remind myself of my priorities, goals, and to-do items. I discussed this in a recent issue: A station for everything.
Once I started making progress on this habit of doing specific things in specific places, I started building other habits such as going to the gym every day, waking up early, reading, writing this newsletter, and taking action toward the things that are important to me.
With time came numerous improvements in my quality of life. I was happier and making meaningful progress towards the things I wanted to accomplish.
I know that I’m not a perfect human and I still have a lot to learn but I am happy that I’m actively trying to improve and become a better person. It has improved my day-to-day life and my relationships, and it has helped me make progress towards my goals.
Some closing thoughts
Living with a negative attitude is horrible, something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. It really pains me to see so many people are living in a continuous cycle of negative thinking. Focusing on the negatives is the simplest way to:
- Make yourself unhappy.
- Sacrifice your personal development and growth.
- Miss out on great opportunities and obvious ways to become a better person.
- Alienate yourself from other great people doing great things.
My advice to you, if you’re stuck in a rut like I was, is: commit yourself to focus on personal development – it’s never too late to get started.
Is it easy to recondition yourself? No way. It will be a slow process: nothing will happen overnight.
Take small steps. Here are some great ways to get started:
- Pick up a good personal development book. Some good starting topics to research are minimalism, mindfulness meditation, happiness, procrastination, and talent. If those don’t sound immediately appealing, try reading a biography on someone you greatly respect.
- Be mindful of your thoughts throughout the day. The next time you find yourself thinking “What the hell is that person doing?“, take a second to think about why you feel that way. Are you angry? Are you overreacting? Don’t be angry with yourself, just acknowledge your thoughts and make a mental note of why you felt that way.
- Remove negativity from your immediate surroundings. Easy ways to get started are to unfollow people on social media (including YouTube) who continuously share negative things. Stop reading the news, and don’t participate in negative conversations with friends and family.
- Keep your goal in mind at all times. Throughout the day you should tell yourself (especially when you’re feeling negative) that your goal is to become a better person, and the only way to do that is to consciously work at it! If you need motivation, don’t feel bad about getting help: watching motivational videos, listening to your favorite songs, etc.
Reconditioning yourself to be a more positive person is no easy task, but I can tell you from experience that it’s worth every bit of effort you put into it. Changing your behavior is possible with enough focus, motivation, and rational thinking.
If you’re stuck in a rut and want someone to chat with, feel free to shoot me an email, I’d love to help!
Warmly,
Suraj
PS: If you read this far, you might want to subscribe to my YouTube channel where I share ideas for self-growth.
