Like it or Not, That Person is nice

Have you ever had this experience where you meet someone and make an assumption about the type of person they are, but as you know them more, you realize that they are nothing like that.

You realize that they are different.

In this week’s article, I want to make a case for a new perspective towards people. I would like to suggest a possibility.

This may seem unacceptable at first but just hear me out.

I would like to suggest that “everyone is nice.”

Well, yes, “everyone” is not every single person. Of course, there is no justification for murderers or rapists or stalkers.

The “everyone” that I’m talking about here are all the other people, people that aren’t criminals.

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We are all results of our diverse circumstances.

Everyone has had their own set of experiences and relationships and ups and downs that make them who they are.

When we come to know someone properly, when we hear their stories, and judge them with neutrality, we often tend to realize that they are actually nice people.

I’ll give you an example.

After completing my high school, I was hired by my school for a month as an Admission Counsellor.

We were 20 students altogether who were offered the position.

Throughout high school, I had been one of those people who’d mind his own business and not engage with others all that much.

So when I was hired to work with 19 other students, I didn’t know how it was going to go.

It was because I already had a brief idea (judgement) of most of the people that I was going to work with.

I had a pre-conceived picture of their character.

But boy oh boy, I was in for a surprise.

We, 20 students, were assigned different roles in different stations for each day. The fun part was that our roles and workstations would shift every other day.

While working there, I had to interact and actually have a conversation with my co-workers (other students).

This was an interesting experience.

Throughout the work tenure, I realized that my judgement of people was mostly inaccurate. People were different than what I had initially thought.

The more I talked to someone and more vulnerable conversations we had, the more likely I was to like them. I assume it was the same for them.

The same thing was expressed by the people I made friends with. I didn’t ask them but during conversations, they mentioned that their assumptions and the reality about me was very different.

But after they came to know me, they realized that I was different.

Through this and several other experiences that I’ve had and that I’ve learnt from others, I feel confident suggesting that most people are nice.

There maybe people whom you know and yet not like them.

For those cases, I would like you to ask yourself: “Do I really know that person? Do I know what s/he has been through or what s/he is going through? Do I know his/her stories that make them who they are?”

The answer, most probably, will be “no.”

With most people that you’re close with, the “closeness” exists only because of how you two talked and felt comfortable, so you talked more, shared more, started knowing each other and then felt that they are nice people.

A major reason why you call your friends your friends is because you know them.

Again, you might not know everything about them but you know them more than a regular person.

So next time when you meet someone and not like them from the first interaction, maybe take a step back and say to yourself: “Maybe I shouldn’t judge them quite yet.”

Tell me: Have you had such an experience where your assumptions were wrong and for good?

I hope this was an interesting food for thought.

If you read this article till the end, I appreciate you.

Do let me know through a quick comment down below. It would mean a lot to me.

Have a wonderful week ahead.

Warmly,

Suraj