Dear reader,
For the past few months, I have been actively trying to help others whenever I could. This allowed me to make some people smile. But recently, I realized this was not such a good idea.
Since childhood, we’ve all been taught always to be helpful. Some people follow this into their adult lives, and others don’t. That’s alright.
The problem begins with the labeling. As a society, we label helpful people as “nice” and others as “selfish.”
This label is engraved in our subconscious minds. So, I would feel good when I was helpful and guilty when I could not. That was the reason why I decided to be actively helpful.
So why was this not a good idea? Well, because of people.
A few days back, I realized that I was being taken advantage of. I realized that the more I am helpful to somebody, the more they expect, regardless of how it would affect me.
There are very few people who truly appreciate my efforts, while others don’t even think about it. Others think, “Okay, this is a very innocent guy. How can I make the most use of this person?”
I know it sounds absurd when I put it this bluntly, but I urge you to think about it…properly.
Who are the people for whom you’re putting in a conscious effort, but they don’t acknowledge or respect it?
I understand we’re taught to be selfless and expect nothing in return. But it doesn’t make sense to sacrifice your energy, time, and mental space for others who don’t even acknowledge it.
You could be using that energy, time, and mental space for your own growth or to be with or talk to your family. So why not do that instead?
This is not to say that you should never be helpful. Be helpful, but put yourself first.
Learn to say “No.”
Don’t make excuses when you’re saying “No” because you could be called out for it. Instead, simply say:
“I have a lot on my plate right now, and I won’t be able to do this anytime soon. I am sure you’ll understand. Thanks in advance!”
This week, I’m going to prioritize myself and my goals over others. I will still try to be helpful when I have free time, but that will not be my priority.
I am certain that this will make life better. If something else happens, I’ll let you all know.
I hope you don’t misunderstand me. And I also hope that you’ll put yourself before others.
Good luck, my friend!
I’ll see you next week.
Warmly,
Suraj
PS: If you read this far, you might want to subscribe to my YouTube channel where I share ideas for self-growth.
